What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

TEXT:

Why are white women not interested in dating Asian men? Are they not attractive to you at all?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

When Trump blames DEI, isn't he just saying "it must be because there's black or brown people involved"?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Should we consider deporting democrats to Canada?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Was there a British ‘genocide’ of Aboriginal Australians?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Make Nazis afraid again!

© you're so funny!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Help. I’m 16 and just got spanked by both of my parents for taking the car. What do I do? I want to run off somewhere but I’m so scared that I’ll get spanked again. I’ve never gotten the paddle before and I’m still scared to sit

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Which country has the best and strictest legal system in the world?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

If I get served by someone else's papers, am I legally required to inform the person that they got served, or the court that they served the wrong person?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Is fellatio addictive?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why are Trump supporters so incredibly stupid?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What are the best examples of reverse psychology?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!